Mokuso
by l'envoi
Summary: ON HIATUS Sometimes, it is harder to let go than to hold on. CHAPTER 3: “Tsubame,” he whispered. “You have no idea how much I wanted to hear that question.”
1. Epilogue: My Name is Tsubame

**Title:** Mokuso  
**Author:** Jyonrai  
**Topic:** Battle B-Daman  
**Characters:** Jou, Sanjuurou, Sari, Tsubame  
**Mood:** Anxiety  
**Word Count:** 1,652  
**Rating:** K+  
**Copyright: ****Mokuso**: My Name is Tsubame ©2006, and the plot contained here in the copyright of **Jyonrai **(author, publisher) – All Rights Reserved.  
**Disclaimer: **I do not own Battle B-Daman. But I'm so happy that today is my birthday. :)  
**Author's Notes: **WHOOT! Today's my birthday. :) As a special treat for another year of my life, I will give you a new FF. :) I will not tell you how old I am. It's best to guess. ;) Anyways, reviews make me happy, especially on my special day. :o So be nice and read on! **(November 2, 2006- I edited some part of this today. I forgot to write here about how Jou looked like and the sort. :P Sorry.)**

**Epilogue: ****My Name is Tsubame**

Tsubame Tsubakara. That was the name he have lived with all his life; yet, he never really knew what it meant.

Tsubame stood up, and planted his sword on the ground. He was 17 now, but until now, he still remembers himself at the meek age of ten. He looked up at the light blue sky, which conquered the heavens.

'_Another great day'_, he thought.

He closed his eyes, as he stretched out his hand towards the clouds. His hair had remained similar, having a less childish flair, and his face was more mature and also lost the pink blush from his cheeks. He had grown as well. He wore a red sleeveless, cottony shirt, which covered only up to his chest, and dark blue cotton twill pants that neatly rests above his shoes, with a black belt snap, that tangles in between its belt hoops. Yet, no matter what age he was, he still had the familiar purple cottony cape.

Every time he looks at it, he remembers of all the times he had been with this cape. It reminded him dearly of his friends: Yamato, Bull and Gray, whenever he caressed this long piece of purple cloth that dangled on his back throughout the whole way. He was so glad that I had it. It reminded him so dearly of his childhood, his friends, and once, even saved his life.

The young ninja was done with his training for the morning and was getting ready to visit Jou.

'_Jou…I met him when I was ten too_.' He also remembered the first time they met each other.

He loved Jou as a friend. Everyday, he would be happy watching Jou as they practiced together. His soft smile as they look at each other. His long dark blue hair, which is sometimes accidentally cut when they train and he would just look at it and laugh. He never got mad, not that Tsubame saw him. He was always smiling. He was Tsubame's close associate…no, his sempai…no, his friend…no, his brother.

Jou had taught him much throughout the years. He thought him different sword techniques, to always be determined, to always smile in hardships, and to be strong.

He had spent much time with him after the war. He was with him always for the past seven years that he couldn't imagine life without him. He loved Jou so much and he wanted to spend all his time with him. Sometimes, he would blush when the older boy complimented him and always smiled when they were together. He was his best friend.

He laid down on the green grass as it swayed in the wind. He gazed at the clouds as he imagined Yamato, Bull, Gray and he were lying on the grass. Back when they were kids, that peaceful moment. Then, he remembered Jou the past few days.

The past few days, Jou's eyes were always hidden under his bangs. They didn't train together either and he would see him, by the window, hugging his legs and holding Samurai Phoenix, almost as if he was under going a war inside himself. When Tsubame would ask him what was the matter, Jou would just look at the side, his eyes still under his bangs, and keep silent.

'_Oh!' _he remembered. '_My birthday is coming soon._'

He's been so busy thinking about Jou, he completely forgot. It was a month before his birthday, and he was getting ready for it as well, for this was a special birthday. This was the time he was finally going to be a legal adult.

'_My birthday..,' _he thought. _'Is Jou upset about my birthday?'_

He looked up at the sky yet again. '_He's upset about my birthday, isn't he?_' he thought. '_But Jou had always been happy for me on my birthday. He was always smiling and stayed with me, such as always. Why is he avoiding me now?_'

An idea ran across his mind. '_It must be probably because I will be an adult now, and no longer a child._' He sighed happily on this thought, for there was a chance that Jou didn't do it because he had done something wrong. '_But then again, Jou would still treat me the same, no matter what age, his brother._'

It haunted Tsubame knowing that his friend had a problem, but he wouldn't tell him about it.

'_Was it something I said? Did I upset him?' _he thought. '_If not then, what is it?'_

He stared at the ground and kicked it in frustration. He clenched his knuckles tightly. '_How will I know what's the matter if he doesn't tell me?'_

He really wanted to help him. Or at least know what the problem was. It hurt him so much knowing that he couldn't do a thing to help him.

Then, he remembered something that Jou taught him when he was younger…

**Flashback**

Tsubame is 12. Jou is 20.

Jou looked at Tsubame. "It's okay, Tsubame. Yamato and the others are safe. You helped a lot in saving the B-Daworld so don't feel insecure."

Tsubame looked up at the older boy. "Jou, how do you know what someone's thinking?"

Jou chuckled. "It's easy, Tsubame. You just need to look at their eyes."

"Why?" the young ninja asked dubiously.

"Because…" the older youth replied. "The eyes are the windows to your soul. You can tell what people are thinking if you concentrate, look hard enough and can see through appearances. I'll show you. Let me see your eyes, Tsubame."

"Ok."

Jou stooped down and gazed at his green sparkling eyes. "You're thinking about your friends. You're worrying about what they're doing right now."

"Wow! That's amazing!"

The older ninja smiled. "Just be sensitive and put yourself in their condition. Then, you'll be able to know what they're thinking."

He stooped down, and smiled once more. "Here, you try. Can you guess what I'm thinking?"

The youth looked at the other's deep, grey orbs and grinned. "You're thinking about the Super Five Guardians: Asado, Cain, Joshua, Sly and Marilyn!"

Jou signaled a smile. "Wow! You got it!"

Tsubame smiled. "Do you know what I'm thinking?"

"No."

He chuckled. "I'm thinking that you're my best friend!"

Jou smiled. "Me too."

**End of Flashback**

"Just look at their eyes, and you know what they're thinking of," he repeated. "But, Jou's hiding his eyes behind his bangs that I can't tell what he's thinking of!"

He yawned. '_I need to stop thinking too much. Yamato taught me that thinking too little won't get anything done and thinking too much will just hurt me.'_

Yamato.

'_I wonder how is he now.' _He stood up promptly. '_There's only one way to find out.'_

He ran to his home. As he held the door, he felt strange. His body froze, as he looked towards his traditional Japanese home, something told him not to go in, that it was a bad time. To just stay still like a good boy.

He fought the feeling, as it nagged on inside of him. He grasped the handle of his door, and pushed it sideways slowly.

"Are you sure you're ready for this Jou?" remarked Sanjuurou.

Surprised, Tsubame hid behind the door and watched.

In the living room was his parents…and Jou.

Jou was now 26, but still as youthful and charismatic as ever. He wore the same clothes as he did before, only now he carried a black cloak around him, which was similar to Terry's. There was a single red feather that was visible on the part of his cloak, which was closest to his neck. He told Tsubame that it was belonged to the Tetsunosuke clan for as long as anyone could remember, and was a very important possesion of his family. He said that it was given to the eldest in the family and to passed on to the next. He currently possesed it and was very glad for it was also a symbol of authority in his clan, for it meant he had a responsibilty to lead his family in Tsubakara City. The feather was also a good luck charm, so nothing will harm the current possesor. His cape also had the markings of 鉄之介, which was the symbol of his clan. He wore it when he travelled, or needed protection from the cold or wind. To him, it was quite important,

'_It wouldn't hurt if I would watch,' _he told himself.

Jou nodded. "Yes, I am."

The older man sighed. "You need to prepare for this. For you know that after this, there is no turning back."

The dark-blue haired boy looked hesitant, but he shook himself and looked back at Sanjuurou straight in the eyes. "I am afraid of this, but a ninja should never show fear under any circumstance. It would be my honor to go on with this ritual."

Sanjuurou closed his eyes and smiled. "That's good to hear, Jou, that you're so confident about this. If I were you, I would find it very uncomfortable to live knowing that my days were numbered."

'_Jou's days are numbered?_' He was startled by this thought. _'But why? Does he have this fatal sickness? But he seems healthy enough. And if he's not sick, then what could it be?_

He thought, '_Wait. My father said something about a ritual._'

He smiled, he knew it wasn't a time to smile, but maybe he could stop this ritual. Maybe he could save Jou. Maybe…

Sari sighed. "I'm glad to know that at least one of you are ready for this. I just hope that Tsubame won't regret this either."

He froze when he heard this. '_What is this? What is going on? I don't know the answer to any of these, but I know one thing. They are keeping a secret from me._'

He whispered, "A horrible, dark secret…"


	2. Chapter 1 : I'm Sorry, Tsubame

**Title:** Mokuso  
**Author:** Jyonrai  
**Topic:** Battle B-Daman  
**Characters:** Jou, Sanjuurou, Sari, Tsubame  
**Mood:** Depression  
**Word Count:** 1,294  
**Rating:** K+  
**Disclaimer: **I do not own Battle B-Daman. But I'm so happy that it was **RECENTLY** my birthday. :)  
**Copyright: ****Mokuso**: I'm Sorry, Tsubame ©2006, and the plot contained here in the copyright of **Jyonrai** (author, publisher) – All Rights Reserved.  
**Author's Notes: **Nobody reviewed yet. :( I'm so sad. Anyway, just because you don't review doesn't mean that I shouldn't continue this FF. ;) The dark ritual is now revealed. Reviews make me happy. :)

**Chapter 1: ****I'm Sorry, Tsubame**

Days went by, and nothing really happened from before. Tsubame went on with his training as he usually did, although still worrying about Jou. Jou continued to seclude himself in his house, still staring into space and holding unto Samurai Phoenix, while people just came and went; but he constantly left his house in the middle of the night and spoke with Tsubame's parents.

Tsubame had known about Jou's nightly visits because of the night he had been too worried about him.

**Flashback**

Tsubame woke up, beads of sweat were scattered on his face. He threw back his blanket, sat up, and looked up at the night sky, which was visible through the open window in his room. The moon was full that night, and the stars twinkled around it, as if they were attributing the ghost-white, glowing moon. Then, in front of his eyes, the moon turned blood red, with the stars following after it. The stars started to spin around the blood moon that appeared to spread over the night sky more and more. Then, he realized something.

'_This is bad. This only happens when something grave happens.' _

His throat ran dry. _'Something is going to happen.'_

The thought ran him insane. Before another second proceeded, he slid past the hall. He was going to just put on his shoes, not even minding his cape, slide away from his home and run towards Jou's house. He was very careful, for he knew well that he not inside an ordinary house. No, he knew well that he was in a house of a ninja. The traps that protected himself and his parents from thieves and other ninjas were now against him. Fortunately, he knew all of the traps and how to evade them.

'_Stay close to the wall, then jump on the very center and crawl past the kitchen…'_

He was able to avoid all the traps, and was just in front of the door when he heard voices come from the other room.

"Tsubakara-san, I have done the last of the things I must do before the ritual," a voice said softly.

Tsubame peered through the small gap between the sliding door and the wall.

It was Jou. He was in front of his parents, just like before when Tsubame saw them talk about a ritual as well.

Sanjuurou sighed. "That's good. For your coming days, you must self-hypnotize yourself and meditate so you can be ready."

"I'm sorry that you must go through with this Jou," Sari said remorsefully. "We wish we could do something about this, but we cannot do anything about this."

Jou looked down, trying to hide his fear. "I don't blame you. We need to do this. This is for our ancestors, our tradition, all of Tsubakara City and Tsubame."

Sanjuurou smirked. "You amaze me with your bravery yet again, Jou-kun. Do not worry. But before you go, at least stay with Tsubame. He will definitely miss you, and it's eating him away that you're avoiding him."

Jou looked up and bowed his head, covering his eyes behind his bangs once more. "But, it would be too painful to say goodbye," his tone saddened. "I don't think I can take it in my being to tell him the truth. Knowing Tsubame, it would break him if I did, and…," his tone slowed. "…it would break me as well, because…I love him as a brother. No, he really is now my brother. I can never tell him. I…I can't bear to hurt him."

"Oh, Jou…" Tsubame whispered to himself. He thought that he was the only one who felt the agony of this, but Jou felt it as much as he did, more even.

'_But wait, if Jou feels the same thing as I, then why is he really avoiding me?_' he thought. _'What is this ritual they keep on talking about?'_

Sari looked down and sighed. "But you will have to tell him one of these days, Jou. The more you keep him waiting, the more it will hurt him when you finally tell him."

Jou looked away. "I will tell him, when I have the courage to. But that time is not now."

Creak.

Sanjuurou grabbed his sword, arose promptly on and faced the door. "Who goes there?"

Tsubame hid back on the door as soon as he heard his father shout.

He looked down at the floor and noticed that he had stepped on a flimsy floorboard. His face grew pale. '_I was afraid of this,' _he thought. '_I can't let them know that I've been listening._'

Desperate to find an exit, he quickly lapsed towards his bedroom, now not even minding the traps as his parents and Jou run after the so-called 'thief'.

"It went that way!" Jou shouted, directing Tsubame's parents. Oh, it hurt Tsubame very much; being hunted by his loved ones, even if they didn't know it was he. It was better that way.

Once he got to his room, he quickly jumped into the bed and pulled up the sheets, trying to lay himself in a position that made him seem as he was sleeping the whole night through.

Once they got into his room, he just faced the other way, not letting them see his eyes, his terrified, exasperated eyes.

Once they left in disappointment, he sat up and sighed.

'_That was a close one,_' he thought, looking up at the blood moon once more. '_Well now I know a little more about this ritual. I just need to wait until they tell me._'

**End of Flashback**

Tsubame started his training once more. Throwing punches into the midair, he continued to think.

'_I just need to wait for them to tell me when the time is right,_' he thought

Sari walked up to Tsubame, sighing heavily. "Tsubame, we have to tell you something. Please come with us for a while."

Tsubame smirked. Finally, he would finally know what that mysterious ritual was. "Yes, mother."

And they walked away.

**---**

They walked slowly back into their home. Tsubame was puzzled, as it looked quite eerie. All the trees seemed to droop and the flowers were looking quite pale. Unusually, the river was very silent that day.

'_This is bad. Very, very bad,_' Sari thought. '_This is going from bad to worse._'

They finally entered the house. There, they saw Jou and Sanjuurou, just staring at them. Tsubame knew they were waiting for their arrival.

Jou looked away; he really looked sad. And so did Sanjuurou.

Sanjuurou finally looked at him, and sighed. "Tsubame, we have to tell you something."

Sari sighed as well. "Tsubame, we think you are in the coming of age and we are happy about that. Because of that, you will take the place of your father as the leader of our village."

Tsubame looked up and smiled. He was wondering what the ritual was about, and it was about him being the next leader of the Tsubakara City. He had been dreaming of this day for years, and is one of the reasons he drove himself to training. Finally, he was going to be the leader of the ninjas in his city. Just like his father.

Tsubame, even though extremely joyful, kept a stern face. "I see, father," he replied calmly.

Sanjuurou frowned. "But, you must pass a ritual to do so."

The light blue-haired boy just continued to keep himself intact, unaffected by his emotion. "And what is it, father?"

Slowly, tears flowed down Sari's face. "By the time of your birthday, there will be a ritual for this…and you have to…you have to…"

Jou looked down, and sighed very heavily. "I am sorry, Tsubame; but in order to, you must…you must…you must kill me."


	3. Chapter 2: In Your Blood

**Title:** Mokuso  
**Author:** Jyonrai  
**Topic:** Battle B-Daman  
**Characters:** Tsubame, Jou, Sari, Sanjuurou  
**Mood:** Confusion  
**Word Count:** 2,038  
**Rating:** K+  
**Disclaimer: **I do not own Battle B-Daman. But I'm so happy that it was **RECENTLY** my birthday. :)**   
Copyright: ****Mokuso**: In Your Blood ©2006, and the plot contained here in the copyright of **Jyonrai**(author, publisher) – All Rights Reserved.  
**Author's Notes: **After how many reviews I received lately, it seems that this chapter has been quite awaited for. :P Well, thank you all for your kind comments. :) They made me really happy. This chapter is shorter than it should have been, unfortunately. For the past days, I've had writer's block for the next scene. The next scene is quite…deep and shows a lot of Jou feels, but I found it quite hard to write the last five paragraphs in this chapter. I don't know why, but those paragraphs were the hardest paragraphs I ever had to write for a FF. Well, it seems pretty good to plan the next scene into a whole chapter because it is quite long. But I won't be able to update that often these days, for school is going to be resumed on Monday. I hope you enjoy this one. ;) The labor I put into these FanFics is worth my time for all you guys. :) Also, I changed my pen name from 'c4ndysweet' to 'Candi Sweet'. That will be my permanent pen name from now on.** (November 19, 2006 – I added some part to the birthmark part. Thanks YaoiLuver4Eva for pointing this out to me. :))**

**Chapter 2: ****In Your Blood**

Tsubame froze. Of all the things, he had never expected that. No, not even a bit.

"What?" he said, shaking from both surprise and grief.

Sari sighed. "Unfortunately, Tsubame, what Jou had said is true. In the ritual, you must kill him."

Tsubame just sat there, not knowing what to think or say. But questions just flowed into his mind. _Why am I the one who has to do this? What is this ritual? What makes me so special? Why Jou?_

Sanjuurou stared at his son for a while. He looked as he saw the pain and anxiety in his eyes.

'_This is just what I was afraid of,_' he thought. '_But the only thing I can do now is to tell him more about this._'

Sanjuurou looked at Jou and saw the same fear as well. He saw the same anxiety in Jou, as well.

'_I need to let Jou leave. He'd seen enough…for now_'

With a sigh, he nodded, seeing as the boy had been glancing at him for some time. "You may leave now, Jou."

Jou lowered his head in respect, also trying to hide his feeling of relief in what the elder had said. "Thank you, Tsubakara-san."

Jou sighed, bowed, stood up, and slowly pushed the door open. Then, ran towards the outside as fast as he could.

Sanjuurou took a breath and looked at Tsubame sternly. "Look, Tsubame, let me explain. Please listen. Tsubame, you are my one and only child. You carry the Tsubakara blood in you. In our town, we are considered as 'blue blood'. Our family is the leader of the people in this village. Tsubakara City is a melting pot of different ninja clans, which are now countless. And now, from all these races, we have now become one community and family. And we, united, are now proclaimed as the clan of the mightiest and the most skilled ninjas in the whole B-Daworld. And throughout all that time, us of the Tsubakara clan have been called to be the leader of the whole of Tsubakara City and the new ninja clan. I have been called to this responsibility, and so was my father, and so was my father's father. And now that you are of the chosen age, you are being called to this as well, my son."

Tsubame looked to his side, avoiding his father's demanding eyes. "I see, father. So, this is what I must do. But, father, I refuse to do so. I know in myself that I want this great honor, but if it means hurting someone for my own glory. I would have to say…that I would definitely refuse this. No matter how great this honor is, if I have to hurt someone, anyone no matter my friend or foe, I refuse father. I refuse to be the next leader of Tsubakara City."

Sanjuurou frowned. "I am sorry, Tsubame, but you cannot refuse. For you see, you are already marked with your blood and the seal on your wrist."

Tsubame took a breath, and removed the bandages from his right wrist. Slowly, the bandages fell on the floor. Then, for the first time, he saw it differently.

Embedded on his skin, there was a ring with many different symbols surrounding it. Inside the circle was the symbol of his clan - メ.

He just looked at it, wondering why he had never realized it. Why he had never realized that he was marked.

He realized he had a birthmark on his wrist ever since, but he always thought that it was made by chance…just a chance that the same mark could have been on anybody – anybody else. He never knew it had more meaning than that. _Just a chance genetic make-up_, he always thought. No signs had ever led him to think that he was truly marked, such as his father had said.

Or has there? Maybe, there was. That time when he told his parents that he wanted to search for the great B-Damaster, Armada…

**Flashback**

Tsubame is 10.

Tsubame looked at his b-damon, Wing Ninja. He smiled at it, for it was one of his most prized possessions. It was given to him the day he was born. It was probably the first thing he held. Its slick design, that when he raised it to the sun, it would glisten in the light. It reminded him of the ocean, the way it glistened and the beauty that it beholds was seen in Wing Ninja, to Tsubame. Neither the less, Wing Ninja was a strong b-damon. With good shooting, a b-daball would shoot about a kilometer away. Whenever a battle aroused, he trusted it and stayed one with it, such as he stayed one with his sword when he fought. His sword and his b-damon were almost inseperable to him.

Then, looking at his b-damon once more, he then decided…

'_I will look for Master Armada, and train under him._'

He ran into his home. He slowly slid the door; he smiled as he saw his parents sitting in the living room meditating.

"Hello, son. Please sit down," Sanjuurou called, his eyes still closed.

Tsubame closed the door and knelt before his parents, his hands placed neatly on his lap. "Mother. Father. May I speak to you about something, please?"

Sanjuurou's and Sari's eyes opened simultaneously as they heard their son speak.

"What may it be, Tsubame-chan?" Sari said softly, gazing at her son.

Tsubame trembled slightly, wondering what his parents may say.

"Yes, son. You can tell us about it," Sanjuurou smiled.

"Well," Tsubame clenched his fists. "I want to look for Master Armada and train under him, so I can improve my skills as a b-daplayer. Please, mother, father, I really want this." He looked at them, his eyes sparkling.

His mother hesitated; she did not want him to leave. As she was about to speak, Sanjuurou extended his arm across her. This act surprised her. He just looked at her, and smiled.

"Please, darling, we have to let him. We have to let him do what he wants to do. He has to hone his skills. Can you not see the passion in his eyes?"

She just sighed, and looked at Sanjuurou once more. "You're right."

Sanjuurou looked at Tsubame. "We grant you permission, son. You may look for Master Armada. May you be safe on your journey, and when you find him, may you learn much and make us proud. We believe in you."

Tsubame's face lighted up. He bowed his head. "Yes, father."

He walked to his room. Inside, he found a purple cape lay down on his bed, next to his sword. He wore his purple cape and at his back, he positioned his sword with a black strap. And in that strap, he placed a small bag where he could place Wing Ninja as he traveled. He put on his shoes. As he checked if there was anything else he would need on his journey, there was a knock on the door. Surprised, he stared at it, freezing in his position.

"Come in."

Then, his mother entered with packed food and drink for his trip.

She smiled. "You will need this for your trip, Tsubame."

"Thank you, mother," he smiled as he placed the items beside him.

His mother sat on his other side. "Tsubame, in your trip, please take care of yourself. Let this not just be a learning experience, but may you meet befriend others on your way. One learns many from their companions. Maybe, something very interesting may happen as well. And always remember, we love you, Tsubame."

"Thank you, mother. I will, and I love you and father as well," he spoke happily.

"And before you leave, you must wear these."

She handed him two tan wristbands, and placed them gently on his hands.

He looked at them with curiosity. He placed them on, completely covering the seal on his right wrist. He looked at the wristbands once more. "Mother, I cannot see the seal on my right wrist anymore."

Her eyes widened with shock briefly, then she went back to her calm self. "Tsubame, you must keep your seal a secret from any outsider you may encounter. Master Armada, the friends that you meet, your associates, or your enemies, let none of them see your seal."

"Why, mother?" he asked dubiously.

Sari sighed. "Oh, Tsubame, some things are to be explained at the right time. And the right time will come, but the time when your father and I will explain all these things to you is not now. But please, trust us. You will come to understand as well, Tsubame-chan."

**End of Flashback**

Then, he looked down and sighed. "I see, father."

The youth was saddened because of what his father had said. From the very first time he heard about that ritual, he wanted to put a stop to the very source. But now that he realized that **he** was the source, it pained him that he could do nothing to stop it. For he was a ninja, and a ninja was both loyal and determined, meaning it was not in his being to question or rebel against neither it nor his parent. Also, he was steeped in devotion and training. The odds were against him.

He just sighed, knowing that there was nothing more that he could do. He got stood up, bowed and walked towards the door. As just before he left, his father said one more thing…

"_And always remember, Tsubame. Tell no outsider about this. No one…"_

**---**

Tsubame wandered around Tsubakara City miserably. He couldn't shake off what his parents told him.

'_You will become the next leader…'_

'_You will undergo a ritual on your birthday…'_

'_You must kill Jou…'_

'_I am sorry, Tsubame…'_

He stooped as he walked, with his mind thinking about all these things. He looked at his mark once more, and pulled it away as he gritted his teeth in pain.

"Why?" he whispered, as tears fell from his eyes.

"WHY?" he shouted into the air. Birds flew into the air swiftly, while screeching from their fright of Tsubame's scream.

Tsubame just sighed, and looked at the ground.

Then, he realized something. He smiled. He saw Jou.

Jou was just there, sitting by the window, watching the outside world, while clasping Samurai Phoenix in his right hand. He was just staring into space, smiling by what he sees. Just, being at peace.

'_Jou,_' Tsubame smiled.

And, he ran towards him as quickly as he could, with tears of happiness falling from his eyes.

---

Tsubame smiled as he walked past the hallway. Once more, he would see his best friend again. Maybe, that could console him before the time ahead.

The thought of that made Tsubame grin even more.

Then, he slowly opened the door.

Tsubame smiled. "Hi, Jou. I wanted to visit you so I just came here."

But, Jou remained silent.

The youth was puzzled. "Jou, are you alright?"

Yet again, the older boy did not reply.

"Jou…"

Tsubame drew closer to Jou, while extending his arm.

"Jou…?"

Then, Tsubame's eyes widened. Something was different about Jou.

He turned Jou's body to facing his direction. And surprisingly, there was no resistance. And, as he looked at him face-to-face, he realized something horrible.

His face was emotionless, as if he slipped away silently and suddenly, without any warning of what may happen to him. His eyes were wide open, though. But that was not what terrified Tsubame the most. For, he saw that the life that once existed in Jou's eyes had disappeared. Now, they were just lifeless orbs of grey, staring at him emptily.

"Oh no. No. No. Don't let this be," Tsubame whispered to himself. A stricken, restless expression grew on his face.

He took Jou's right wrist and placed his fingers on it, as he placed his palm on the older boy's chest.

No pulse. No signs of breathing.

Tears flowed from Tsubame's face. "No."


	4. Chapter 3: Torn

**Title: **I Shall Never Let You Go  
**Author: **Jyonrai  
**Topic: **Battle B-Daman  
**Characters: **Jou, Tsubame  
**Mood: **Anxiety  
**Word Count: **1, 833  
**Rating: **K+  
**Disclaimer: **I do not own Battle B-Daman, any of its characters, plots, etc.  
**Copyright: **I Shall Never Let You Go, Chapter 3: Illusions ©2007, and the plot contained here in the copyright of **Jyonrai** (author, publisher) – All Rights Reserved.  
**Bibliography: **About Inc. "Doppelganger!." The New York Times Company. 16 March 2007 (paranormal. about. com/ library /weekly /aa111102a .htm); "Doppelganger." 17 March 2007  
**Author's** **Notes:** Gasp. After four months, I FINALLY UPDATED!!!! XDDD Sorry for the long wait, but I've been really busy lately. I wanted to stay with my family and concentrate on my studies a little more. Also, I did not like my first plan for this chapter. This is another chapter cut in half. I made this as a tribute to SUMMER! Actually, my summer started last Friday, but I went to Hong Kong. I really concentrated my time today, and now it is completed. Reviews make me happy. Enjoy. :D  
**Updates: **I changed my name…again. XD I realized how easily I am confused with 'Candy Sweet', so I just decided to use my username. LOL! I probably won't change it now. XPP  
**Shout-outs: **To **Petit-Marionette (DA):** I hope that this will answer all your questions. :) I hope you enjoy this as well.

**Chapter 3: Torn**

"Jou!" Tsubame cried.

His arms fell, and so did his legs. He fell kneeling directly in front of Jou, tears dropping from his eyes, as well.

He abruptly threw his head backwards with his eyes closed, him facing the ceiling as tears flew back. "Jou!" he screamed.

He grabbed Jou by the shoulders and shook him back and forth furiously, in hope to awaken him. "Wake up, Jou! Wake up!"

No response.

"Jou!" he cried even louder, closing his eyes as more tears trickled down his face. "Jou!"

He sniffed. "How did this happen…why did this happen?"

'_Jou,_' he thought. '_You didn't even say goodbye._'

It was a seemingly endless sorrow to Tsubame, the newly discovered secrets, the mysterious ritual, his obligations, and now, this.

No matter how much he tried, he just couldn't stop crying. He wiped them away, but only more trickled down his face. He really couldn't stop, and how could he stop? His very good friend was no longer there. He was gone now, only his soulless boy remained. His soulless body, frozen, still, empty, like a doll. He was a doll…gazing at him with empty eyes, smiling, yet emotionless. Lifeless…Jou.

He pushed himself more and more not to cry, because he knew that crying would not help him at all. It would not bring Jou back. It would not change what happened here. Jou would not come back and comfort him as he had before. He knew that he would never do so…ever again. But, he felt so good doing so, for it somehow expressed the sorrow of what he has lost.

He reached for Jou's hands and clasped them to his right cheek, with tears continuing to gush out from his eyes. He kept crying, but it made him feel better by holding Jou's hands, for it made him feel as if he was really there.

'_Jou._'

Then, a pulse came from Jou's wrist. It was weak, but constant. Jou was not dead.

Jou slowly pulled his hands away from Tsubame, placing them neatly on his lap as he knelt. He stared indifferently into space, his expression nonchalant and a

Tsubame looked at the older boy. "Jou?"

Jou reached his hands for Tsubame's, and held them in between the both of them at chest level. Tsubame then found himself looking directly at Jou.

Tears welled up in his eyes. "Jou?"

The other closed his eyes and nodded slowly.

Then, slowly, a word started to form in his mouth.

"Tsu…ba…me…" he whispered. He clasped the other's hands tighter.

Tsubame closed his eyes and smiled. "Jou."

He opened his eyes and looked at Jou. The older ninja was smiling. He was happy, and so was he, but something was different about him. Then, it struck him.

His eyes. They were still empty, still lifeless…what does this mean?

Tsubame lowered his head, his semi-translucent hair covering his eyes.

"You are not Jou, are you?" he whispered.

Silence fell upon the room.

Jou closed his eyes and nodded. Then, he slowly turned away, keeping a smirk on his face as Tsubame glared at him with suspicion.

The dark-blue-haired ninja smiled. You are right, Tsubame. I am not Jou," he said tersely.

The younger ninja's eyes narrowed dangerously. "Who are you, then?"

But, the older boy just continued to keep silent, facing the window and the world past it.

Tsubame watched him, studying him, watching him, remaining vigilant for what may happen as suspicion continued to glint in his eyes. An eerie, unsettling silence filled the room.

'_Who is this person?_' Tsubame asked himself. '_Why is he here? And why is he keeping silent despite my questions?_''

The silence continued, and even more questions filled Tsubame's mind. '_Where is the real Jou? What the heck is going on here?_''

The youth held on to his patience, although struggling more and more to do so every passing moment. It sustained until he could no longer do so.

"Well?" Tsubame thundered, releasing the stress he has been feeling through his words. "Aren't you going to tell me?"

He panted angrily, beads of sweat dropping from his face, as a dangerous flame of anger grew in his eyes.

The older boy looked at him, sighed, and then smiled once more. "I see that you are very serious about this. Also, you are not a child anymore. I guess, now, I shall have to tell you the whole truth." He took in a deep breath before he continued. "Tsubame, to start off, do you know what is a doppelganger?"

Tsubame thought for a moment before he realized. "I remember now. I encountered that once while I was reading a book." Tsubame enjoyed reading about these paranormal events that took place and creatures as well. He has read many books on the subject. He knew much about dragons, phoenixes, avalerions and many others of the sort.

He rubbed his temples in order to help him recall. "Doppelganger. It is German for 'double walker' - a shadow self that is thought to accompany every person. Traditionally, it is said that only the owner of the doppelganger can see this phantom self, and that it can be a harbinger of death. Providing sympathetic company, a doppelganger almost always stands behind a person, and they cast no reflection in a mirror. They are prepared to listen and give advice to humans, either implanting ideas in their heads, or a sort of osmosis. Occasionally, however, a doppelganger can be seen by a person's friends or family, which leads to the resulting in quite a bit of confusion.

A person can either spontaneously or willingly project his or her double, known as a 'wraith,' to a remote location. This double is indistinguishable from the real person and can interact with others just as the real person would," he said back-tracking.

"Correct, Tsubame," he said, sagely. "True, I am not Jou, but I am a part of him. I am the one within him. We both share the same memories, but I am not like him for he has a heart and a soul and I do not. I have been with him throughout everything, but he has not even known about my existence. For, you see, I am his doppelganger."

His words stunned Tsubame. '_How can he be Jou's doppelganger?_' he thought. But then, as he looked at the other, he saw that he could not have possibly lied.

Yes, he knew Jou would joke once in a while, but to do something tantamount to what he has done here was something he would not do. Jou was open-minded and considerate. He would never go this far. Also, there was a very conspicuous sign. As the day moved into the twilight, his own shadow grew long behind him, but as for the other's case, there was no shadow at all, meaning that he was intangible, one of the most distinct characteristics of a doppelganger.

'_So, he really is speaking the truth. No one would kid about this, and the evidence does not lie_.'

He looked at the other. For some reason, he felt so at peace with him.

"Tell me why," Tsubame half-spoke, half-whispered. "Why do I feel that this is not the first time that we have met?"

The other closed his eyes, and smiled. "I am glad that you have not forgotten about me, Tsubame. You are very right. We have met before."

"But, how? And when?" the youth replied dubiously.

The older boy opened his eyes, and looked at him. "Do you not remember your battle with Enju?"

**Flashback**

"Having a hard time deciding, Tsubame?" Enju smirked.

He raised his b-damon, Blazing Kahn, and aimed it at Tsubame. "Don't worry. I'll make it so you'll never have to make another decision ever again."

"B-DAFIRE!" Enju launched his b-daball directly at Tsubame, causing the latter to crash through the walls and speed through the sky.

Then, everything went black.

'_I am sorry, mother and father. I am sorry Yamato and Master Armada. I have failed you all. Now Enju is still under the NeoShadow Alliance's control and the whole B-Daworld will be destroyed, all because of me._'

Tears formed in his eyes. "I am a total failure."

"A total failure," he whispered.

A hand then held Tsubame on the shoulder. "No, you aren't, Tsubame."

The youth turned around. "Jou."

"Just keep fighting, Tsubame," Jou replied.

Tsubame looked to the side, and sighed. "But I can't win this battle, Jou. Enju's too strong…"

He whispered, "And I am just a weakling."

Jou pulled Tsubame's shoulder, and faced him, crouching on one leg as he was doing so. "Don't say that, Tsubame. You are not a weakling. You can beat Enju and save the B-Daworld. Just believe in yourself, and listen to the decision of your heart. No matter what you decide, all of us shall be there for you and be proud of you."

**End of Flashback**

"So, you were the one who came to me during my battle."

Jou smiled. "Yes, I was."

"But," Tsubame stuttered. "Where is the real Jou?"

"Do not worry, Tsubame. He is safe within me. He is just sleeping, floating through the darkness, peacefully."

The youth looked at him. "Excuse me..Jo-, Jo-," he stuttered.

"It is alright, Tsubame," He smiled. "I am a part of him after all."

"How can he be in you?" he asked in a reedy, hushed voice. "I have read quite a lot about your kind, but you two are meant to be separated from each other, or both of you would be…" he hesitated, before he whispered, "…eliminated."

"Yes, that is true," was his reply. "But I am a different kind of so. I am the kind of which lives within him, although sometimes when needed, I take his place when I know that he cannot undertake the upcoming events – such as now. It is the least I can do for him, the one who allows me to live."

"Jou…" he whispered. "Can you please…wake up the real Jou? You see I miss him."

The older ninja sighed. "I am sorry, Tsubame, but I can not. Also, if I could, I would not. He is at so much peace. Through the whole event, he has been fighting his fear and disregards of this. But at this moment…I have never seen him so peaceful inside, enveloped in the darkness. He needs his rest. I am so sorry, Tsubame."

The youth sighed deeply. "I see. I do not blame you, then."

"Also," the older said, tranquilly. "I am here to give you a message."

"A message?"

"Yes, Tsubame, a message. It is about the ritual. I am here to answer your questions about it."

Tsubame looked at him, hopefully. "Any question?"

"All that I know," Jou replied, sentimentally.

"Then," the younger ninja stuttered. "Why is Jou the chosen one for this?"

Jou smirked, chuckling inwardly at himself. "Tsubame," he whispered. "You have no idea how much I wanted to hear that question."


End file.
